The power of stress and silence

It's been a while, again. Right now, I don't know am I going to publish this post. It seems I don't know anything for sure because I have learned that what I know now might be totally reverse tomorrow. This year has been and will be "a giving up the rest" -year for me. I have been working only one day and gave up my so called business. I really don't know now what to do, so then it's better to do nothing and focus on being. It is everything but easy, you know when your mind is telling different stories all the time, like "you can do this, you can do that, you can do anything...". Yesterday I finally tried to plan a campaing which is related to stuff that didn't cause any conflict inside me. But, after taking a step towards action a conflict really arised with confusing thoughts and fight against my heart. Today, a while ago I started to edit my one-year-old e-book, which is about the power of change, the power of thoughts, organic nutrition, meditation and stuff. After a short while I also gave up that process. It also didn't feel good. There are so many things I am aware now that just don't feel good /right anymore. They are the same things I found most exuberant just a year ago. When reading this sentence from my e-book: "The best thing is that this state (of flow) is permanent" Huh! The flow really lasted quite a long, many months until I was kind of reactivated. I suddenly felt discomfort and stress. After living inside a flower I was coldly swept away.

Nobody including me doesn't want to be categorized or categorize anything like people's worldwievs, period of life, growth levels etc. When you start to see world with only people with different levels, it is just one attachment more to your head. It is really restricting. Maybe you just have to go through that too, I don't know. What has happened to me is that it is not enough to know intellectually like that "I am a post-modern person", or "I have already gone through it", but you really have to live it, enjoy it, develop yourself enough and save the world like a crazy, and "confess you like it and be it" or otherwise you are cheating yourself. You have to exceed it, or better word is transcend. After transcending you can include all the good things in that belief-system to your new worldwiev. The difference now is that your identity is not anymore dependent on them. You are free from the limitations in your mind. More and more - day by day. (I don't know how this chapter is related to this text but I don't know much more...)

No matter in which level you are living right now, what is sure, there are times you feel ok. There are times you feel good. There are times you feel fucking good. There are times you feel fucking bad and sometimes you get bored. The only advice I can give to you is that "do anything so long as it feels good" Feel the feeling inside of you - in your heart. You know the little voice, which usually disagrees totally with your mind. That is the real you. The more you listen to that voice the more you give up on your false believes and can act freely. If you are not sure about that little voice's existence, you can try to find it for exable with the help of my e-book; meditation etc.

It is anything but easy to your mind to get bored to things that attract mainstream. This happened to me first a few years ago when I tried to be interested of making business with people's so called needs. I (my mind) was really was totally stucked with beliefs that came outside and stress levels were high. The shift came when I started to listen to myself. Spend time in silence, meditate etc. And now in Finland we have this postmodern"cleansing" thing happening all around. I have so many opportunities to do anything I have been wanting the latest years. But I don't fuckin care anymore! I don't care to inspire people or to help people. I don't want to do business with this post-modern stuff. Anymore. Been there, done that - to be honest.

I don't have a clue what is coming after this wave but I am very hopeful. What I have experienced and what I have read I think the emptyness is "the thing" before the next shift. There is nothing to live for (of course you have the external frames better than ever but that hasn't been the thing for years), there's nothing to get excited for...You just have to be and that is the thing. Clear you head from any message which says you "have to" do something.

After travelling in India I realized again why we are so lucky in here. We have the opportunity to just be but at the same time we can get enough stimulation from the environment. The stimulation makes the stress that develops and evolves us. Some cultures have only the silence and some are in totally chaos (like in India's big citys) not knowing what "presence" means. We have the culture which enables us to grow our collective level of consciousness - not just the state which you can do for examble in the Ashrams. Consciousness is like a muscle. You have to train and stress it and then give it rest enough.

Anyway I decided I publish this text even though there are probably many typos. Being honest to yourself is the main thing in everything. Sometimes and usually it means giving up on something. Giving up hurts a little while, but soon after you feel more enlightened :) And enjoy anything that feels good right now!


Change for the Whole

Change is necessary. It is the basis of all life. Like the nature, trees, flowers and plants are forming new cells all the time and changing appearance depending on the time of the year. In the winter it looks they are dying, but no, they are still alive - waiting to blossom when the sun glimmers again. They are changing their deepest form and making adaptations to the environment.

If we, humans are a part of the nature (are we?) we should also change. Few understands that we change our whole body matters totally in 7 years. Of course we have our genetic codes but there is so much we can change - in a year we change almost 98% of our matter. The thing that prevents us not to see it is our programming. The programming tells us, that we have a personality. We are separate, special individuals. That belief affects our every thought and act. We can improve our physical, mental and social skills (to be better than others) but thats it. That is what is enough for the mind.

Changing (also called growth) is usually not fun. It might almost feel like dying. That is one reason why we resist change and prefer to stay in a same, secure state. That is what is also programmed into us thousands years ago - security is one basic human need. Staying in a comfort zone protects us from danger but also - prevents us to develop.

Feeling suddenly extreme emotions: love (even unconditional), peace (never felt this kind of peace before), pain (autch, it wasn't a bliss all the time) or confusion (who is talking in my head?) is a great sign. It is a sign of the upcoming big breaking. Looking at you in a big picture it means that we are adapting to the new environment and some individuals are finally ready to change big. The environment has different needs for humans now than before - we are now in the middle of a crisis. If you don't see the crisis you still wear your sunglasses on. The pressure demands that we need new skills, which are totally different than before. That is call adapting to the needs of the environment. That is also called evolution.

I love every moment no matter if it's joy, peace, love, pain or confusion. Especially when it hurts so bad you think it is eternal...Yes I love it. I accept it. Because I know it is not me who is suffering. It hurts because I am giving up on something. I don't have a clue what it is, but something is braking. And the more I give up on something, the more I can just be. Be and live without limitations and conditions. Step towards pure love. Suffer is usually a necessary period to go forward because if everything is fine you don't wanna change. This is something just need to be done and go through. Not for me, but for the Whole.


Health, spirituality and morality

"Long time no see". Lately I`ve had nothing special to write about. I`ve been enjoying the constant change in me and the life. The temporary fog in my mind has gone off and everything seems so much clearer now and I don't even remember how bad I felt just a weeks ago. Numerous days, moments and challenges have been faced (f.ex getting rid of the attachment of updating my blogs) and learned. This journey is called "growth" which goes forward step by step, day by day by enjoying and living in a present moment. The consciousness reveals itself the more I keep my eyes open and understand: I create the outside reality and the world from inside. Nothing just "comes accidentally". The world is created subjectively by what and how I pay attention to everything. You get exactly what you are. The inner world means so much, but the outer world is as equal and important because it is how we express the consciousness (when we have found it). We are not here just to be conscious/spiritual and stay in a peaceful state. Spirit in action is something that the teachers of traditional enlightenment do not accept but I do.

The reason I am typing now is an insight which came just a few minutes ago when I ended up reading an article from an activist magazine on the Yoga gym´s table. (I was doing a yoga practise (at 6.30 am) with my friend). The article was about veganism and the futility of the operations of animal-right-activists. During the last decades, activists have tried to do so much but the meat consumption has just increased and multiplied. What goes wrong?

One reason, the writer told, to that is we have tried to turn omnivores to vegans with health reasons. "Vegetarian food is healthier". The big problem with that sentence is very often that a person cannot find the vegetarian nutrition versatile enough and goes back to eating meat. Also, nutrition guidelines change all the time and many of us are just giving up from red meat and still eat lightier chicken and fish which means the consumption of these have doubled during a decade. Activists might also lack the message of attractive alternatives and positivity. Their reason to be an activist might often be fear or guilt, which they spread around probably subconsciously. No wonder that there is not much larger affect on people.

But but. What is my main point in telling this? Studying conscious evolution and reading the same articles over and over again and repeating the same things with day by day with a more developed level of consciousness I am now ready to open a little about the process of our development lines which has very much to do with our progress in consciousness and how to do it healthily and balanced way.

First of all; being healthy is not a development line. It is not a talent. It is more like our state which either support or weakens our ability to act in different fields. When a person starts to improve his/her health he/she does not automatically improve the level of consciousness. Also, in many cases, the nutritional advise are taken from the authority which might even take us to the totally wrong direction as many of us have noticed lately (f.ex light foods "healthiness", need to eat protein..). Not listening the "self" is usually making us more brainwashed in many other things: A person listens the advise of the media etc.

Graig Hamilton tells great about development lines in his article. Here is what I absorbed from him and him.

According to Integral Theory, we have totally 23 different Developmental lines. Being moral is one important deveploment line which has much to do with the consiousness. In addition to morals, spirituality is also one of our development lines. Some gurus think it is somehow more important than others - being enlightened solves everything! No no no. You can be very spiritual but at the same time have poorly developed moral. There are examples of abusive, financially corrupt or sexual deviant "spiritual" masters. A spiritual, on a other way "bad boy" Ken Wilber likes to ask: "why are most spiritual teachers such assholes?"

The lines of Development theory tells, that we can be great masters in spirituality and the same time very undeveloped in some other lines. If a Great spiritual master acts in ways that are abusive, we should see this not as a spiritual deficit but as a deficit in their moral line of development, or their interpersonal line of development, or perhaps in their emotional line of development.

So, concentrating only to spiritual process is very common among postmodern people who have just found the spiritualty and think "that is the path". That is usually part of the process (been there). Luckily, soon I found an other way. I found the teachers who told that the "old enlightenment" is not the thing anymore. We can go forward from that. We can develop ourselves totally over the ego. Going only spiritual path makes us usually think that the better, the more "spiritual" we are. But it is only one of the 23 developmental lines and we should develop them all.

So we break our former beliefs and break our conceptions etc and replace them with better ones and are caged again. Some people are very attached to spirituality and that prevents their progress. These things we are telling you are so new not only in Finland but in the whole world. We are just greating the integral culture, but it is not easy as our environment is totally modern/postmodern or even traditional.

Lines of consciousness and the New enlightenment progress are developed if you get enough stimulation from the environment you are. Everybody knows, when you surround yourself with materialistic people, you become one. If you surround yourself with spiritual people and things, you become spiritual but leave the other important Lines without attention. We only get rid of the ego by challenging ourselves in different environments and observing us with different people. If somebody says something that irritates you - it is your ego, which tells you it still exists! What an important notice!

In other words, you have to live your life eyes open to proceed. Most of us choose the easier way and stay blind...

Going back to veganism. The article concluded that the better way to work and get attention to the animal cruelty is not to advertise the benefits or health aspects of vegetarian food but to highlight the moral responsibility in our choices. Many people just try to eat vegetarian for health reasons and it does not change ANYTHING in their behavior and don't help to get rid of their ego. But when we get them to think this thing from the moral point of view it might change them much deeper. Let's see how this insight affect on my future plans :)

Morality is an important development line and as/more important than spirituality. In this writing I just took two examples of morality but there are many more to consider.


A top-down solution

As I told before, for long I felt I was responsible of my actions and my (like every human's) mission is to save this planet. After suffering, frustration and desperation I am finally so grateful that I live right now and have prepared myself to start the real work and actually a whole new life. This era is really amazing! We are finally starting to understand what this life is really about. It is not about survival. It is not about materialism. It is not about being spiritual. It definitely is not about focusing on me, me and ME.

Take a look around. Some scientists have forecasted we have about 20 years left before we spoil this planet totally. And what do we do? Multiply ourselves, focus on problems, fight against each other, consume, consume, consume, are stucked in past, feelings about me, me, ME. We are focusing on unessentials at the same time when our environment is dying. Some of us are wishing that the God will save us. Well, maybe the hope is better than not hope at all.

Yesterday I was participating a course which is really unique not only in Finland but actually in the whole world. The course is about conscious evolution which most of us finds unfamiliar and not easily approached term. For mainstream more familiar are teachings of spiritual evolving or self-improvement. When I sat there with 3 ladies and one man I felt I was finally creating something totally new. Sure I have done a lot of good and unique with my own business, but I can admit that it is still partly a ego-based work which is fun but will not save us.

We realized that there are only very few people in the world who are writing and talking about consciouss evolution, or evolutionary enlightenment which should be the most important thing to study and to know right now. One insight of mine was that we have to finally forget ourselves and see the bigger picture. Dealing with ego with different tools is not helping us, vice versa. People have been executing meditation, spirituality and self-improvement and usually getting short-term results but finally their ego is stronger than before! But living like the ego does not exist would liberate us to work for the greater interest.

Consiouss evolution is understanding that we are not just individuals but more a process! So as the world is changing, me and my opinions are changing when I grow and evolve :) So, my advise for you now is totally different than the previous writings in this blog. I advise myself and you to stop focusing on yourself, including observation when meditating (or in any situation). Look around you and see yourself from the space as a tiny tiny human species. Observe also your environment: the nature, scenery, all the voices and smells. If you see a bird think where it came from. There is no worth of you when your life is 90% spinning in your mind and focusing on you. This is called top-down perspective, impersonal approach, a unique way to approach both self-development, spirituality and co-creation in this manifested world. It might be the only way to help us evolve and save this planet. Sure this "top-down" is not something to absorb intellectually. You have to really feel you are a creator. But hanging out together, talking with these most important things ever, you forget your ego easily and become a one (a co-creator) :) Thank you guys! Yesterday was a "little" break through for me!

Andrew Cohen and a top-down solution


Growth-blocking lower mind feelings

The latest years before this inner process began I had been frustrated about the destruction of this planet. I felt pain when seeing or knowing people torturing animals, polluting environment and caring only themselves. In my heart I felt I was part of a bigger picture and that my personal choices affect straight to the whole universe. I was a partly conscious person with postmodern values and identified with the term "light-activist". Still, no matter how environment-conscious I was, being worried or questioning things with judging and semi-negative attitude didn't benefit much for the planet. Afterwards I also recognise the feeling of hate and having these negative feelings limited me to be the Real Me and to do REALLY good for the planet or the evolution.

I tried to figure out the solution how to help this planet but didn't find a way. I felt a strong impulse inside to do something, to act, not just talk about things with very few people. That was frustrating. What does it matter to question things and focus on problems if nothing changes?? So what to do? Traditional actions like activism didn't felt my stuff. I also wasn't brave enough to leave abroad as a volunteer. I definitely wasn't a public speaker but tried to inspire my boyfriend to go to politics with his alternative views.

At that time I didn't know anything about personal growth, spirituality and the consciousness. Understanding of my past has got more clear lately when I have been exploring David Hawkins's book, "Levels of consciousness". I found out that there are a large scale of different negative feelings (also considered as levels) which block our personal growth process. I was stucked in the ego-dominant, lower mind negative feelings which according to this book are (from bottom to top): shame (was previosly considered almost as bad as death), guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger and pride. Being stucked in these negative states keep us focusing on self-interest things like physical survival, emotional pleasure and personal gain and so there is no much use for us for making the world better.

For ego, it is hard to confess of having those feelings and usually they are buried so deep that we don't even know them to exist. I identified with the feelings of anger and especially pride which is under the way with the help of it's antibody humility. With the help of other people (my "mirrors") and the book I figured out that I have been stucked in the state of pride for years and before this I have not been ready to confess that to others or especially to myself. Confessing that is a big step forward and now I can start to learn to live with that but not letting it to take control of me anymore.

Pride was still there when I randomly (?) started to keep my first blog and share this important message but there was some transformation process to the upper mind states because I started to feel feelings that I didn't know that exist! Well, I have known that I have quite much courage but then and now it has began to unfold itself totally! Well, maybe not totally, hopefully there is much more to come:) Other new feelings I had were acceptance and neutrality meaning that I didn't let the outside world to affect on my inner state anymore. I accepted all as it was and "everything happens for a reason" became my mantra. Feelings of unconditional and universal love, joy and peace and were also something miraculous. I felt like takin the skin out of my body and starting to really live. Here are all the upper mind states (from bottom to top): engourage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, unconditional love, joy, peace and the last, enlightenment.

So I was pushed (maybe it was evolution that pushed) from the last negative feelings to sense the complitely new world with totally new emotions and a scale of positive feelings. For a year I didn't feel anything negative and as I have been writing, I thought the state was stable. Yeah right. Everything was so beautiful that it made me blind. I thought I was the captain but I wasn't :) I wasn't conscious about my thoughts and feelings (no matter how positive and negative) and that is the time when the real growth process begins: when you really became aware of your thoughts and feelings and the separation of your ego and The Real Me. That is also called a role of an observer.

Why am I writing this is because I know that most people are stucked in different negative lower mind feelings which keeps them ego-centric and limits and slows the growth of their consciousness. What is sensational? It is totally enough if you just became conscious of them and we don't necessary have to go to therapy to handle all the negative emotional lumps. First of all it is important to learn to really FEEL the feelings. We are trained to hide our emotions and reactions and the first step is to let them flow freely. Then it is time to be an observer of your body and the mind and learning to analyse your feelings and thoughts. Where do they come from? Is it the Real me or the brainwashed ego? You can have different, both upper and lower mind, feelings in every "basic" state, but being consious of them and not to identify to them is the key to success. It is hard to know what a feeling of universal love is and to go forward if you still have feelings of shame or fear. And focus on "you have" because you are not your feelings! They are just visiters!!!

Meditation is a great tool to empty your mind and start to listen your body signals but it doesn't necessary help us to grow away from the lower mind states. We can be very spiritual person "in high levels" but if we don't recognise our negative feelings and emotions which are in our ego, not in Real me, we don't grow. Spirituality might bring a lot of happiness to our lifes but it still is not enough if we have different limitations which block our real potential to show in and to act freely.

The book introducts well every states and gives us understanding to handle them and grow forward (to grow from lower to upper mind). Being stucked in the lower mind feelings is not the tool to go forwads no matter how great lifestyle, nurtition etc. you have. And this is unfortunately how the basic therapy handles the problems: focusing on them. There is an easier way for healing: focusing on the moment of Now and the things that are positive (positive psychology is luckily coming) and becoming an observer of your mind :)

More: The conscious life: Negative thought patterns that keep you stucked, stressed and anxious


Finding The Real Guy

Oh my god how clear everything seem to be now! I was so asleep and I still am but a little less. What is all this Evolutionary Awakening, Conscious Evolution stuff about? Here is a little summary based on my current state of consciousness.

We all have an ego. Most of us aren't aware of it because it has been controlling us almost our whole life. As a child we were just for a little moment one with the nature until the bad guy took control. Our parents and their parents had an ego too so it is normal we have adopted that same untruthful mindset. The Ego is both personal and collective. It consists of personal thoughts and feelings which we are complitely identified with. The Ego is also collective with values adopted from the culture and society we live in. The Ego makes us feel separate and unique individuals. Our Egos are attached to different things and thoughts but what is important is that we should get rid of that mask we live with.

We might have our ego controlling us 95% (in Hitler maybe 99%?), 70%, 42%, 29%, 12% or 5% (somebody should make a test). If ego is dominating 67% then what is the rest 33%?

This is when the "unknown" presents itself. Contrary to the ego we also have the other side, which you can call Real Me, Authentic Self or Evolutionary Impulse. You might have heard also the name God or Spirit. Traditional enlightenment is finding the God inside of us but if you still have more or less limiting attachments = the bad ego, it is not enough.

If it is the God in us should't we have the same creative skills that the Big Guy has. Yes. Really? We all have the God and the power of creation inside waiting us to be ready! Well, as the lovely baby has many names I call it Real Guy as it sounds nicer. The Real Guy knows what is really essential and because It has no personal needs, instead, it is serving the humanity and the evolution of our planet. That is why the name "Evolutionary Impulse". Because it is a creative power, it can use it's ability to do almost anything. If all the personal needs (like survival,personal development etc) are missing there is just one mission: To be and to become! In practise, whatever is the action Real Guy does it is automatically right for the Evolution. The more Real Guys in action the more creation! That ia called co-creation!

So our main mission right now is to crush or better like cross our ego and find the Real Guy inside of us. It is not an easy thing to do because we are so identified to our thoughts (ego). Here are some helping tools how to develop yourself to the right direction: by reading this kind of awakening stuff = not-reading the brainwash media, by meditating (=listening to yourself) = not listening gurus and reading new-age spiritual books, by spending time with both inspiring and difficult people and observing yourself, especially your negative feelings, emotions, reactions. Where do they come from? Emerge your emotions by writing, shouting, dancing, painting, listening to music...Do what ever is your way, main thing is that something comes up (wheter it's positive or negative).

When you are ready for the big change or Bang Real Guy takes the control and exceeds ego. When ego is crushed enough (over 50%) Real Guy starts the Real party. But this is not a crushing party either. Our mission is not to reach any goals or seach for a better life. Our mission is to find the moment of Now and let go of our different
sections of ego. One by one. It happens the more you became aware of your duality, the ego and the Real Guy.

I don´t know how much bad ego I have left and I had to learn a lesson until I was able to admit that I still have one. But admitting and accepting the fact is a step forwad! There are still some attachments but I am starting to be aware of them, like that possible need to feel myself special when sharing this kind of new information in this blog. I really wanna go this spiritual path (not in a new age way but) in a
way of growing as a human. I have felt a stong presence of Real Guy and felt the strong impulse inside me for a while. That is something so hard to describe. It is simply the best thing we, humanity can ever have! The big change is not far away but at the same time I am so happy in the present moment and that I can write these things not just adapted intellectually but experienced in reality (which is changing
all the freakin time) :)

To make things clear: The meaning is not to crush ego totally because we also need our rational thinking system:) This all has been an important evolutionary process what you can study more from material of Ken Wilber's and the theory of Spiral Dynamics.

Related stuff:

Here is Andrew Cohen's great video (short) about this 49/51% shift

And here is Angels's great post about oneness (in finnish)